Your Love Will Kill Me
by Qzil
Summary: Unless mine kills you first. Clawface/Spottedleaf ficlet.


_So...I dunno. I was reading Warriors today, and got the urge to write some. So the prompt "He loved her, so he watched her die" slipped into my mind. So I got this. Hopefully you'll be able to tell what's going on. It turned out a little longer than I wanted, but oh, well. _

x

When he first saw her, Clawface was convinced she was a cat right out of StarClan. There was no other explanation for how her eyes entranced him, or how her pelt glittered in the moonlight. When the Clans welcomed her as Featherwhisker's apprentice, he felt his heart drop into his stomach. Not only was she from a different Clan, but she was a medicine cat.

But if he couldn't have her, at least no one else could.

x

On Brokenstar's orders he spied on the ThunderClan camp, hiding his scent by rolling in crowfood and herbs. He watched the camp, and checked on her every day before heading back to his own territory. He smiled when he saw her sorting herbs alone in her den, or talking to a she-cat.

She still wasn't his, but she didn't belong to anyone else, either.

x

Clawface thought that Brokenstar might let him keep Spottedleaf. They had plans to take over ThunderClan's territory, killing as many of their warriors as they could and driving the others out. He had plans to ask Brokenstar to let him spare the lovely she-cat. Surely one more breeding female would be an asset?

He planned to offer her sanctuary before the attack. To offer her food and shelter and a life. He wanted to be her savior.

Then he saw how her eyes strayed toward the flame-colored kittypet. Clawface's eyes widened and he felt his heart drop into his belly all over again.

Suddenly he was an apprentice, staring at her as she was presented at the Gathering.

She didin't belong to him. She could never belong to him.

x

And suddenly they scrap the plan to invade ThunderClan in a surprise attack. Brokenstar says they can use Yellowfang against the mangy squirrel-eaters.

All he has to do is sneak into the camp and kill Spottedleaf.

But instead of his heart breaking, Clawface is overjoyed. He dips his head and slides out of camp. He doesn't roll in herbs his time (which is a shame, he thinks, because he would like to smell of her den as he kills her) and he slips into the camp unnoticed.

"Spottedleaf," he says softly, stopping at the mouth of the fern tunnel. He watches her pad out warily, staring him in the eyes.

"Who are you?" she asks, sniffing the air. "You don't belong here."

It stings him to hear that. She doesn't know who he is? He doesn't belong in this clearing with her? It hurts, but he smiles anyway, because the hurt will all be gone soon.

"I'm sorry about this," he tells her. He isn't sorry, really. He just figures that's what she wants to hear. He sees her head tip to one side and her eyes narrow, as if asking him what he's sorry for. He smiles at her and takes a step backwards. His smile grows wider as she follows him to the very end of the tunnel.

"I love you," he tells her. "That's why I have to do this. For us. It'll be quick, I can promise you that," he says, claws sliding out. He watches as her eyes go wide and she opens her mouth to call for help and he leaps at her, ready to strike a killing blow. He feels her claws rip out a tuft of his fur and his heart soars. She's fighting like a warrior, and in her last moments he feels more in love with her than before.

Clawface feels her die underneath him and steps back before giving her a lick between the ears. Inspecting the body, he imagines he can see her spirit joining the stars. His chest warms when he sees a tuft of his hair caught in her claws. For a moment he considers removing it, just in case someone guesses he's the one who killed her. He reconsiders quickly, happy that she'll forever hold a piece of him in her claws.

He gives her a final lick on the cheek. "We could've been happy," he mews softly, smiling at her body. Then, he turns and pads away, triumphant.

She still doesn't belong to him, but now she can never belong to anyone else.


End file.
